Today is one of those days…

I knew it was brewing – I had a few tears yesterday and I’m rubbish at asking for help when I need it as I don’t really know how anyone can help but I was saved when some lovely people invited me over for a feast (I realised I hadn’t eaten a proper meal for 3 days).  I’d forgotten how exhausting marathons are – it’s funny – when I had Molly everyone said the tiredness is like running a marathon – now I think running a marathon is as tiring as having a baby lol!

I have spent most of the bank holiday weekend sleeping – even woke up Monday morning and had to ask John what day it was and should I be at work?  This morning when I returned from training, Molly was rushing round as she’d overslept and then threw the ticking time bomb at me “food tech ingredients” – I was hoping to catch a quick 30 minute snooze before starting the grown up job and had to bite my tongue so I didn’t snap as really I should have had a grip on this one – after all I’m mum right?

Well after a mad dash around Co-op at 08:30 we managed to find all the ingredients for a vegetarian Cornish pasty (as you do).  No Molly isn’t vegetarian but decided she didn’t want meat in her pasty.  I’ve since spent all day feeling like a rubbish mum as the ironing pile is huge, the washing basket is full, Sophie-Ella’s room looks like the store cupboard of a charity shop and there really is no food in the fridge.

I had hoped to pop to the bank at lunch time to pay in a cheque but that didn’t happen and I’ve had a rather lovely letter from the CSA delivered this morning to say my wonderful ex-husband has gone AWOL again and do I know where he is – erm – no – but rest assured if I did – they’d be the first to know.  They’ve given me a deadline of 3 days time to get them that information!

People often ask me how I manage everything – well truth is – I don’t – it’s a bit like being at work and every customer is shouting at you – I guess I deal with the person shouting the loudest and just keep apologising for the aftermath – I’m thankful to my close friends who see past the mask of superwoman – those who offer to help even though I keep saying I’m fine.

I know it sounds like a cliché, but without my daily exercise I really would struggle to put one foot in front of the other…….

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One thought on “Today is one of those days…

  1. Can’t tell you how much you’ve inspired me to get back out and run. I had some really tough times last year and think beating ourselves up is human nature. Remember if you don’t nurture yourself then how can you nurture others.you are inspirational and sharing the hard times is always difficult when so many look to you for support. Your an inspiration to your girls and they will absorb that culture when they grow up. Ex partners are an enomally and we have to detach from them and remember where we have come from and what we have achieved since moving on from them xxx remember you have lots of Freind’s and we are all here for you. Adrenaline like a drug and you get such a high from it but then there’s the come down afterwards. After seeing what you achieved with Mel last week I have now signed up for a 10k in October and I haven’t run since leaving last year.

    Like

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